Phish 2013

Life happened again, and with each passing day, it became easier and easier to ignore my once thriving blog. Why sit down and finish a really long post when it's from JULY? I actually wrote 75% of this blog in September and just kept puting off posting it cuz I was hesitant about some stuff. But oh well, fuck it. And because I believe in continuity, I'm forever behind now. I could have given up entirely, but I feel like keeping this thing going.  

So, people who check this blog at all regularly, all the stuff you've been waiting for is coming, because I'm finally posting this one. 

----------------------------------------------------

I casually listened to Phish in high school, then finally went to a show with Joe, Dustin and Amanda in 2010. I wore an Allman Brothers Band shirt and a pink headband with stupid glasses. 

We went to one show, and even though our traditions (riding our bikes in, setting up at Camp Hogan (where Dustin's brother in law leaves his car parked all weekend) hanging out for hours before, then riding to D'Andreas after) started then, it was a pretty tame experience. Sure, booze and especially weed is everywhere at Phish shows, but I was straight edge, and therefore didn't partake. I proved that you can not be on anything and still have an awesome time at Phish. You just have to love their music and love an insane culture of weirdos. 

2 years later, I went again- this time for 2 shows in 2 nights. I decided to look like this that year: 

                           

I can't believe my hair was that long. this picture refuses to center.

In fact, as I was a blogger by then, I wrote fairly long recaps of the shows (Day 1 and Day 2 if you feel like going back). We partied for like 12 hours on night 1, Pog almost died, and we spent time on both days at Shakedown Street, which was a hilariously good time. Nothing but nasty hippies aimlessly wandering in zombie dazes mixed with some of the weirdest people imaginable, all selling or buying weird stuff, art, food, and drugs. Good times.

And speaking of drugs, I alluded to it a bit in those posts, but yes, I smoked weed on both nights. The first night, I had a few hits off of a friend's joint, and on night 2, I smoked my own weed for the first time, given to me by a friend the night before, and smoked through the one hitter/dugout I bought at Shakedown Street on night 1. 

Sorry Mom. 

I'm not going to say how often I smoke, but I'll admit it, I love weed. It's fantastic. The first time I ever smoked was actually in New York, on Halloween night. I blogged about that night too, but didn't want to share the biggest part with the world because I was worried what people might think, but I was mostly worried what my mom might think. I know that my parents don't read this blog, but at the same time, they know about it, and if they randomly decided to read it, I didn't want them to find that out. Sure, we've had conversations about how weed should be legalized (which they agree with) and how it helps sick people and that recent studies show that it can actually kill cancer, but I've been careful to not be too pumped up about it- I didn't want to be the standard hippie guy who goes off on tirades about how mother nature gave us a miracle plant that can do anything AND makes you feel wonderful, (as I'm sure all of my friends that I've been public about this with has heard me talk about), so I kind of just do it sarcastically. I didn't want to essentially waive a flag in their faces that says HEY LOOK AT ME I SMOKE WEED.

Truthfully, my parents probably should have guessed long ago that I've probably smoked before. I used to be an an antisocial, angry metalhead straight edge kid who never wanted to do anything and went off on tirades about how much I hated everyone. And at the same time, (although I don't do enough) I've been somewhat of an artist for most of my life and somewhat of a musician for half. In the last 3 years, I've become a full blown hippie, at least my own variety. I get more into music than I ever have before, I've started to hate the government and nearly any type of authority more than ever before, I'm a conspiracy theorist, I've grown to realize just how much I love the outdoors, I've become obsessed with hiking, and I've grown more positive, happy and outgoing, all while (even though it started as a complete joke) trying to live my life based on The Secret (which is really just living with positivity and hope). The last thing that was tying me to my old ways was that I was straight edge, which ended 2 months into the 2 and a half year vacation I decided to take at age 30. How could they not assume I'd eventually find weed?

I'm not going to flat out tell them, but if they find this, then I guess it's time for them to know. It's time for everyone to know- I can't bitch about how ridiculous it is that it's illegal without sharing with the world how much I like it. But still- please don't tell my parents. I'm not ready to have that conversation yet. 

So anyway, that first night, the 2nd time I saw Phish, I started to get Phish a little bit more. I wasn't super high, but I was high enough that the music was better to me than it probably would have been if I was sober, and all the weirdos around me were certainly more interesting. I got higher on night 2 and became obsessed with capturing weird timelapse shots of lights during the show. It was fascinating and awesome, but I also learned how weed can actually hurt an experience if you zone out too much and forget to focus on the reason you're there. 

So now, a year later, Phish was playing in Saratoga again, and even though I was shockingly broke, I started up some nice credit card debt by buying tickets to both nights and driving all the way to NY for a weekend of awesome. It was time to party. 

                                                    ----------------------------------------

I got there at about 2:30 I think, and of course Dustin and Amanda were still out biking. Once they were back, we packed up and headed to Camp Hogan. This time, since the D bones had moved, we actually drove to the parking lot near D'Andreas and rode in from there. It was a shorter, flatter ride, which I was happy about because it was pretty damn hot. 

We got there, cracked some beers, and after some hanging out, headed straight to Shakedown Street. This is the bridge from where SPAC is (Saratoga Performing Arts Center) to where the weird is:

All along the bridge were people selling various drugs, edible weed snacks, beers, jewelry, etc. I think I've decided to start referring to this as the Drug Bridge. If there can be a Drug Bridge at the Gathering of the Juggalos, then there can be one at Phish too.

Once in the beast, it only got more insane.

This was the most packed I've seen Shakedown Street, and we spent more time there. It was hilarious and I took lots of pictures.

This chick's dreads ruled:

yes, I still love dreads

This may have been the same "band" that I videotaped last year:

they still sucked

Check this dude out. Hogan was a big fan. As was Llona.

This guy actually frightened me a bit. I don't trust him.

Actually, now that I'm looking again, this guy scares the shit out of me

This guy may be the oldest, grossest hippie I've ever seen. So I took a picture with him:

there's my chippy

Speaking of my shirt (it's a Tim & Eric shirt, based on a very odd skit), a few people freaked out about it. The most notable was a dude who stopped me and told me how much he loved the show, wondering where he could get the shirt. We said our goodbyes, then he came back and was like "actually, now that I have you here, I'm looking for a girlfriend."

"You want me to find you a girlfriend?"
"No, no, um... I'm looking for my girlfriend."
"Ok, what does she look like? I don't know how I would help dude"
"Um... her name starts with an M."
"Ok. Mary? Marcia? Melissa?"
"No, that's not it..."
"Medussa?" (I can't remember the names I came up with, but they kept getting more ridiculous)
"It's like M.O... like mah...."
And then, much after Dustin was already laughing his ass off, I got it.
"OH MOLLY. Yea, no, I don't have any molly. Why didn't you just ask dude? Nobody gives a shit. Go to the drug bridge, you can get anything there."

Yea, so I guess I'm not as experienced with this kind of stuff as most people here. In fact, the first time I ever heard of Molly was when like 3 people asked me for it the first time I saw Phish. "Dustin, what's molly?" was probably his favorite part of that show.

It's true though- nobody gives a shit. Cops would have to arrest everyone there if they were really gonna try to arrest people for drugs. But still, even going into it knowing that, it blew me away how open everything was at Shakedown Street. There were people walking though the crowd saying "nugs... nugs here. 10 bucks" and they literally were holding big buds of weed in their open palms. Probably 75% of the food booths had coolers of beer, from garbage for a buck a can to Heady Topper for like 10 bucks a can. All of this is illegal. All of it. And that's not even getting into all of the mini drug deals on the side, the amount of people carrying weed lollipops, brownies, cookies, etc. It's a crazy, crazy world, and no authorities do anything about it. And it rules.

This food station was super awesome, but their pizza didn't honestly look that great. I tried to get a slice later on, but they didn't have much selection.

Just realized now- does that dude have a rat on his head with Hulk Hogan riding it?

This also blew my mind- sure, it's kind of just like a hot pocket, but still. PIZZADILLA!

HOW HAVE I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT

It was great to see the return of this stupid yard sale booth:

And for the first time, I spent some time looking at some of the art. These were incredible:

We eventually realized we had had enough and started heading back. It was getting close to showtime anyway, and we wanted to drink some more and maybe even sit a little bit before being stuck in the show for 2-3 hours. 

There's a dude on Instagram who found me somehow and liked a lot of my pictures. I usually only follow random people back if their pictures are awesome, and at the time, he had just started hiking all the 4,000 footers. Not only did he hike a lot and took a lot of solid pictures, but he always took a picture of his celebratory summit joint, which I thought was pretty funny. So I followed back, and we started talking back and forth here and there. I knew he loved Phish and had moved to VT, so I started to wonder if I'd randomly run into him. And sure enough, when we got back from Shakedown, there he was, wearing a flourescent green vest thing, his name badge from work, and a giant sombrero, looking wasted and honestly, lost. In this gigantic place, he had found himself standing 20 feet from Camp Hogan.

I decided I couldn't miss the opportunity to have an instgram meetup, so I went right over. "Jayshredspow?" "yea..." "Lifeofdirtymike, what's up man?" His mind was blown, but at the same time, he seemed pretty gone already. He said he got 4 free tickets by dancing on the street... like, literally someone saw a drunk guy dancing like an idiot and was like "hey, I can't go- take these tickets." Only at a Phish show.

I introduced him to Amanda, who he also follows (I think he follows Shaun too... weird), then he wandered off somewhere and I never saw him again. What a hilarious small world we live in. 

Eventually, we started going over to the entrance, and I got completely separated from Dustin and Amanda and actually, the rest of the group. I found Steve (one of the crew whose name may have been changed per his request), and he said to follow him- he was gonna get us in the VIP way somehow. I didn't believe him for a second. Also, even though drugs are rampant there, I was trying to follow Dustin's suggestion of "yea, nobody cares, but you should still try to hide it a little- they do pat you down afterall" and I had my one hitter jammed in my shoe, which was now effectively digging into my foot. 

Oh yea, I forgot to say- an hour into my 4 hour drive to Saratoga from NH, I realized I forgot to bring any shoes with me. I had developed a hiking routine of just leaving my hiking boots in the car and just wearing them for the hike while driving to and from the hike in my crocs (I told you- full blown hippie). I really liked wearing crocs, but I really wanted to bring shoes. I called Dustin and told him of my concern in having only crocs for support all weekend and he laughed out loud: "What do you think EVERYONE there is gonna be wearing?" He had a point, but I wasn't sure they would work for several hours of standing for me, Mr. Endless Footpain (they worked beautifully- best shoes ever). 

So anyway, I followed Steve in while my foot was throbbing, and it somehow worked. I immediately got to text Dustin, asking him why it was taking him so long to get in, which blew his mind.

Earlier, when we got there, I asked Steve if he had any shrooms. 

Sorry mom. 

Yea, last year, I told him I was curious about shrooms, but was still too scared about them. A few hours later, he turned around at the beginning of the show and said "hey- eat this" and handed me a tiny little thing that looked like a pecan or something. Looking back, I don't know how I didn't get this, but at the time, I thought it might have been some weird type of weed snack, and said "ok" and ate it without putting up any fight or asking any questions. As soon as I was chewing, I said "what is this, anyway?" and they both laughed. "Come on, what is it?" to which Dustin replied "shrooms" and immediately turned back to the show, laughing his ass off. 

I was terrified, but realized that whether I liked it or not, I was already on the ride. I had such a small piece that it probably didn't do anything to me, even though I was hyper sensitive out of terror. 

But now I was curious again, and willingly looking to take a little ride. He said he didn't have any, but he had talked to a dude the night before about getting some that night. He said that while we waited for everyone else to get in, we'd meet him and pick some up. I was now a part of a drug deal with a random dude. Wow, what a difference a few years make.

The dude kept texting saying he wasn't able to get in, that he wasn't sure if he could get the shrooms in, etc. While we waited, Steve took me to a part of SPAC I hadn't been to before and started rolling joints on his lap in the middle of a field with security people nearby. He was trying to be a little hidden, but generally didn't care at all. I'm not sure I had ever even seen anyone roll a joint before. 

Eventually, we started wandering back to the main crowd area, and the band started playing. Shroom guy eventually got in, and they did the deal without me really even seeing it. We then tried to get to a super low spot, but the people guarding the stairs kicked us out and told us we weren't allowed to get to the spot we wanted to be in. We fought our way through the crowd to a decent view, and then I saw Dustin across the main walkway, which sent us out and all the way back around. 

Once everyone was together, Steve was ready to do shrooms. My plan was to smoke on night 1 and just take it easy, and night 2, I'd give shrooms a shot (but not a lot). I told him I was terrified to eat them- that everyone I'd talked to and everything I read on the internets said to eat them in a safe, secure place with a friend who had done them before and was hanging out with you, making sure you didn't freak out or hurt yourself. I said that, and Steve replied with "look around you- these are all your friends. This is EXACTLY the environment you should be doing shrooms in." And man, he is a convincing dude. So I said fuck it and went for it.

We didn't do the full shroom experience though- the plan was to eat 1, see how we felt, then maybe another, repeat. I was scared so we split 1 individual shroom. Of course, we'd already smoked and we were planning on smoking more, so I guess the plan was to have the shrooms just kind of enhance the weed and vice versa. Later that night, when I told someone that this was how I did them, they said "oh, so you did them right." Apparently this is a way some people do them even though I had never heard of it. Incidentally, since talking to other people about this, they almost always hit me with a "that's too little- they probably didn't even do anything." So who knows, but for that night, that's how things went- I think in reality, I only ate 2 actual shrooms, and for the standard "lets do shrooms' experience, 2 grams is the recommended dose. So I had waaay less than that, but I also was smoking a considerable amount, so I certainly felt like they did the trick. 

My experience through the first set was good- it was basically like being very high, and every now and then I'd feel much higher. People who have done shrooms will read this and say that I was mostly just high, but I think my experience was definitely different, and definitely stronger than weed normally is. Maybe it was just the environment, I don't know. After the first set ended (and it was a great set), I was extremely psyched, talkative, hyper (way more than normal) through the intermission. And then after eating another shroom at the beginning of set 2, I felt fantastic. There was a part where Steve and I were scream laughing in someone's ear because... I don't know why. We were probably annoying, but whatever, we were having a great time.
The notable experience that was definitively a bit beyond weed was when I disappeared from reality for a bit during set 2. This sometimes happens to me with weed too, but when I came to during the song, it was completely different than when I come to with weed. Basically, I started thinking about how much I loved these Phish weekends in summer- how their sound is perfect for a setting sun in the dead center of summer, dancing and high in a field with a bunch of people having a great time in great weather, etc. I realized how much the song they were playing at the time fit that theme, and I started wondering why the lights guy, who is usually perfect, was using reds and blues when I wanted greens and yellows to match the summer feel. Thinking about the colors made me think about listening to this music on an island, maybe under a waterfall, then on a beach with palm trees around me and an ocean breeze in my face. Suddenly, the song kicked in harder and lights guy switched to greens and yellows, and suddenly I had a weird "oh shit, I'm at a concert" moment where I suddenly felt like I was in a hole in the sand on my beach- I literally felt like I was a few feet shorter than everyone at the show. It was weeeeeiiird. It didn't last long as I quickly realized how I had imagined I was super short out of nowhere. But that was pretty funny.

I tried to sway as much to the music as I wanted to. I tried to ignore the fact that there were people there and just let go, let the music in me, etc. I do that pretty hard anyway, but this was more of a "ok, I'm under the influence of things, I should see what this is all about." It was recommended to me to shut my eyes while the song built, then open them right as the crescendo exploded in. It was pretty awesome. I definitely found myself swaying more and zoning out more, and man, Phish is PERFECT for that. 

Here's a horrible blurry shot of people throwing glow sticks for good measure: 

The show was super awesome. Definitely one of the best of the 5 I've been to. Maybe the best. When the show ended, I still felt a little off, but in a good, fun way. We hung out for a minute waiting for it to be a little less crowded. Eventually, Dustin and Amanda jumped over the fence of our area to go to the main area. I thought about it for a second. I believed I could jump the fence, but I didn't want to be the fatass who didn't pull it off and everyone laughed at, so I said, "yea, I'll meet you at the tree at the top of the hill" and headed up in the area I was in. 

I somehow went just enough in the wrong direction that by the time I realized I wasn't that close to the tree, they were long gone. I couldn't see them anywhere, so I walked around the tree a little bit looking for them. I realized pretty quickly that there was no way I was going to find them, and I should just walk through the millions of people back to Camp Hogan.

I suddenly realized just how ridiculous these crowds are- how it literally is thousands of people all walking in different directions, sweaty and exhausted, still high or drunk or worse, trying to find their friends and the way out with barely any light in a place that was super loud with music for hours and was now just this weird, scattered chaotic world that still somehow retained some sort of order. I decided to film this mess, and really got into it, changing directions randomly, walking against the crowds, sideways to the crowds, etc. I just walked around in circles and began to think about how this full blown mind confusion mess must be to someone who's on some serious drugs. They must get so lost, or think they're in some weird alien world where everyone looks the same and nobody is fully there. Then I started to wonder if people were looking at me- this guy wandering around a crowd, shifting direction abruptly, staring straight ahead in a daze, holding a camera up the whole time, fascinated by the whole thing- and I wondered if they were thinking I was that very person I was pretending to be. Then I realized that, oh wait, even though I'm doing this on purpose, I actually am on drugs, wandering around aimlessly, and at the moment of this realization, I didn't know which way the exit was. I was realizing that people were thinking I was the person I was thinking I was pretending to be. And I was that exact person. Mindfuck.

I had another amazing moment where my mind disappeared as I neared the entry gate, and I started to realize what a weird thing this was that I was doing. I was looking up at the entry signs and above people's heads without looking around me at all. People on both sides of me were looking at their phones. And yet, we were all going in the same direction at the same speed to the same place, and we all knew exactly how much space was between us, and the exact direction we needed to be moving towards at the exact right speed. Nobody bumped into each other, we all just moved perfectly to the gate with our brains completely off- zombies staring at the lights and signs and heads above us like we were marching toward an inevitable future we were programmed to move towards and had no way of breaking out of.

Yup.

So that's real shit though- that's an interesting observation and I stand by it. But yea, I was still pretty high. Here, I made a short film about the whole experience. Enjoy:

"Phish 2013" from Mike Alexander on Vimeo

We all met up pretty perfectly at Camp Hogan, and I played with my camera, realizing that I had finally accidentally stumbled on the setting to get weird timelapse shots. This one was neat:

This one was my favorite. She can stand still very well: 

The end of Phish shows are weird things. It's pretty much everyone having the same conversation with very different opinions. "This was one of the best shows." "Friday was better." "Dude the encore was SICK." "Dude that part when they played ____ into ____? HOLY SHIT." "They're playing like '84 Phish."etc etc. It's amazing how many people freak out and say it was the best show ever, yet the older crew is insanely jaded, saying that some songs were incredible, but the overall vibe was wrong. "Gordons playing better than ever." "Fishman is off, I don't know what's going on with him." It's fascinating. I went back to Camp Hogan thinking it was incredible, but the Phish vets who have seen them 30 something times were all in conversations bitching. Or at least bitching about part of the set. And the next day, when a code on your ticket gives you a free download of the song, you can view the comments section, where it's nothing but people criticizing it. I guess that's the difference between someone who has seen them 5 times and 30+. But in my crew, most agreed it was a pretty awesome show.

After talking about the show a bunch, we hopped on our bikes and I realized I still felt pretty weird. It was an interesting ride into the city, made terrifying by Hogan riding in and out of traffic, off of curbs, doing tricks, etc. I was insanely happy to finally get to the only place I'll go after a Phish show, the wonderful D'Andreas pizza, where I wolfed down some slices and we headed home. 

I stretched and took a shower and felt the kind of exhausted you can only feel if you do a 5 mile hike the night before, sleep not well in a way too hot house, drive 4 hours, bike several miles and walk around drinking and smoking and doing shrooms without sitting down on anything but a bike for like 8 hours. Finally lying down, I was out pretty instantly. What a day.

-------------------------------------------

Waking up the next day, we decided to chill hard. We had breakfast, talked about the show, then headed to Hogans for a hang out/frisbee throwing session with a freakout stop at Burger King (actually not my doing) on the way into the city. We then packed up and switched to bikes, then headed into Camp Hogan for day 2. 

We were there early enough that Dustin and I decided to take a walk through SPAC- I had been there 5 times but had only seen about half the area. He asked me if I wanted to see a sketchy spot where hippies got high by sniffing sulphur. Duh, of course I wanted to see that. 

On the way from the parking lot area to there, we passed through a wedding. It was a hoooot day and as we walked though, the wedding party was heading out to have their pictures taken. One of them said he was so mad he was there and he wanted to be at the show. We considered photo bombing, but it was too obvious. Clouds started looking... doomy. 

this picture refuses to center

We eventually got to a section of woods where we walked under a giant bridge down a super steep woods section towards a river. I was still wearing just crocs, so the walk down the hill was a tad frightening, but after passing through garbage filled woods and arriving at a river/stream, I was happy I just had crocs on. I decided to just wear them in the water and we made it across with no issues.

The water flowed to a section with huge rocks that people were considering jumping off, but they had security down there to remind them that they'd probably get split in half by the rock shards below if they tried. Here's douchebag Dustin walking around with no shirt on all day:

We then looped around to the sulphur part, and it was weeeeird.

what planet is this?

The ground was surprisingly slippery to a mini cliff towards the water. I was waiting to wipe out and slide into it at any second, but thankfully, it didn't happen. It seemed like most people down here were either exploring, rinsing off (the water was freezing and it was super humid out), or looking for a place to do drugs. I didn't see anyone sniff the sulphur to get high, so I did.

sulphur rock butthole that smells like farts

Just kidding. I'm not doing that. It was time to head out. It stunk as much as I thought it would. Just a giant pile of weird this-can't-be-from-earth rock with a huge hole in it just leaking stink all day. What a weird place.

We then walked up the rock as there were somehow footsteps that developed on it over the years. Pretty cool.

We then walked back to the parking lot and got a group together to go to Shakedown Street. I suddenly realized I'd be getting wet tonight.

get your mind out of the gutter

We spent less time there, but we went farther back than we had the day before. I even got a french bread pizza (sadly the cool pizza place barely had anything when I tried again) and Dustin bought a weird shirt. We couldn't spend much time there though- it was showtime. 

This time, Steve was trying to sneak in and I went in the standard entrance with Dustin and Amanda. I stated to wonder if Dustin was playing a trick on me when he told me to hide any drugs, because I finally got to see just how ridiculous people were with this stuff in line, just not caring AT ALL that there were security people everywhere and they were like, next in line to get patted down at the gate. They were smoking joints or little electronic weed pipes literally up until they were the next person in line. People were chugging beers and throwing them out right next to the ticket taker. It was just weed smoke, beer chugging and people getting rowdy and we weren't even inside. Truly a lawless place. 

Once inside, we did what we did last year on night 2 and what I wish we did every time- we fought through the upper crowds trying to catch glimpses of the band from the hill and headed down as far as we could get, admitting that we may not see the band as much, but we'd have a giant screen right in front of us and a flat spot to stand on that somehow doesn't seem to ever be crowded. 

It got crowded very fast though, because it started to rain before the band was even on stage. Suddenly I had absolutely no room. Why? We were under a bridge.

The show started and was generally pretty solid for the first set even though they opened with a song I think I've now realized is my least favorite Phish song, "AC/DC Bag." Weed was smoked, fun was had. Actually, Steve had given me 2 joints as a thank you for supplying him with my one hitter so many times the night before, even though I said that was way too much and he didn't have to do that at all. He said "then share." And I did. I thought I smoked something else the previous year when I finally smoked a joint that was passed to me. I said no a few times and told Dustin that I didn't know what would be in it- he had told me horror stories he'd seen in his many years going to Phish shows. At some point he said "dude, it's probably fine" and I said fuck it and smoked some a dude passed me and felt very odd later- like waves of high then nothing, and an odd sensation of tingling down my spine I haven't really felt since. It could have been all in my head, but I was weirded out about my first "hey stranger, want to smoke?" experience. Now I was that guy, and you know what? It rules being that guy. I got to be the guy that said "hey, just have the rest of this, I'm done" to some dude whose night I made. Oh yea, he looked exactly like a mini version of WWE Superstar Edge. 

The rain sucked though. I was only getting rain blown towards me on one side, but I could feel the rain starting to form puddles under my feet, slowly creeping into our dry area as wet smelly hippies jammed themselves under the bridge and took away all my space. But it was still a fun time.

There was one pretty amazing moment that would have been pretty amazing sober, but probably blew my mind more because I was high. During "The Divided Sky," thunder started happening. And it was terrifying for me, yet everyone cheered every time it happened. I started to realize the weird irony that a song called "The Divided Sky" was being played as the sky opened up and thunder and lightninged all over us. Then I noticed how the song was building as the storm was, and Trey was playing the high notes while looking towards the sky. Sure, he always looks up when he gets going, but it really felt like he was looking towards the sky, saying "ok, do your thing, but this music and all these people are going to will these storms away- so get it out now while I provide you with a soundtrack." The song worked perfectly with the storm, and everyone in the crowd seemed to be feeling the same things I was. It was pretty incredible. Later in the parking lot, it was theorized that because the band was inside, they may not have even known it was even storming, and the band was building the song because of the cheers people were doing because of thunder claps and lightning flashes- that Trey was actually looking up to the crowd, thinking that they were cheering and freaking out more because the band was playing the song so well. So they were building the song based on how the crowd's reactions were building, which were building because of the storm and how awesome the band was playing in relation to the storm. This whole thing was amazing anyway, but this added a whole other level, and I really hope I hear someone years from now talk about that show so I can say "I WAS THERE MAN. It was SICK."

Set 1 ended incredibly and I realized how awesome the sky looked with my camera doing its weird long exposure thing (that I got into by accident). So during the break and during set 2, I took a lot of pictures. Here are some of my favorites.

take me to the bridge downtown

my screen view

zombies

glowstick wars and weird lights

An incredible sky

glowstick snake, which happened in the exact same spot where it happened last year

this is probably my favorite

Set 2 was pretty incredible, and I verged on smoking too much. I definitely was on the border of not paying enough attention to the music, where I don't really want to be, but I felt fantastic. What an incredible show. Dustin said it may have been the best he'd seen. We were all blown away, exhausted and psyched, and there's a certain weird feeling of relief and closure I've started to notice on the last night of a 3 night stay in Saratoga (and probably everywhere). You're dead, but you're psyched and you now have a great memory of a band playing 2 nights (for me, 3 for a lot of these people) of 2.5-3 hour shows in an awesome place. You somehow feel accomplished yourself, and you're all warm inside from something you looked forward to working out so wonderfully.

The second the show ended, things got very odd.

Actually, a better description is that it became nightmarish. I was in this wonderful blissful world where I was with friends, dancing to super loud music with bright lights everywhere, super high and happy, and literally like 10 seconds after everyone was done clapping and the lights came on, it was a hell hole. 10 feet away, a dude who was tripping hard on something was fighting security, trying to climb over the barricade that separated the lawn from the indoor seating. Through lots of yelling and people staring in horror, they eventually let him go and he ran into the crowd, completely lost. I watched him as he wandered through people, looking around like he had never been on this planet before, barefoot and filthy, just completely gone. As soon as I stopped looking at him, I saw that a chick was puking HARD 10 feet in the other direction. And there was trash everywhere. 

So, wonderful bliss into a lunatic fighting security, puke puddles, people in various stages of trashed acting like assholes, trash everywhere, people slipping in mud and the sudden realization that I also had to walk up a mudhill, wearing soaked crocs. Ughk. 

I made it though, and I randomly got into a conversation with a dude who had an insane laser light. I thought he was going to give it to me, but no dice.

major lazers

We walked back to the parking lot talking about how awesome of a show it was, and my high (both a good life high and also a weed high) was still fantastic. I had forgotten about the slap in the face the end of the show was, but things suddenly got REALLY weird when we got back to Camp Hogan. 

"Wait... are those dudes with the balloons all..."

"yea, nitrous."

"wait, this is a thing?"

In my sheltered straight-edge-till-30 lifestyle, I had heard about nitrous but had never actually seen it. So I stood and watched as 3 or 4 dudes hung out by the tree inhaling it in fast forward. I then realized that there was a line of people sitting where we usually sit, all doing the same thing, completely obviously in the wide open. It was fucked up. 

Apparently this has been part of the Phish culture all along, I just didn't know how rampant it could be, and I somehow had gone 4 shows without seeing any of it. I started looking on the ground and realized there were tons of canisters everywhere. I watched from the shadows as a few dudes leaned on the tree, taking hit after hit (are they called hits?). I asked friends about it and they all said it was basically like a super strong high that hits you instantly, but the immediate effect disappears just enough that they immediately want to do another hit. I may have made that part up- I honestly didn't really understand why they were taking hits SO fast. It was literally taking them like 30 seconds to go through a whole balloon. And I watched as a normal dude took 1 hit, giggled and sounded high, to a few later where he wasn't making any sense and sounded retarded, to a few later, where he was barely able to stand up or walk in a straight line. I watched a few guys just hanging out having a good time turn into shells of people, stumbling over each other. It was honestly pretty scary. To see someone willingly making themselves go from normal to a retarded mess that quickly, by sucking in a balloon... crazy.

One of the dudes saw I was taking pictures of him and was all "heyman DON pUT thisson facebook!"I joked around with him, saying I didn't even know who he was, I couldn't see his face, etc. and I watched as genuine concern turned into him not even knowing I was there. 

party hard

It was scary to see this many people getting this fucked up this quickly in this public of a place, then I noticed why they were all in this one spot. The giant thingamajig that was filling up the balloons was right across the street, sandwiched and hidden between 2 cars. 

When we got to Camp Hogan on night 1, we watched as 2 guys got arrested within a half hour of us being there, all in that same spot. They were playing loud music and smoking and drinking obviously. But that was it- the only difference between them and us was their brazenness. And now, as the whole thing came to an end, the exact spot cops were concerned about 2 guys smoking weed in public, there was a line 20+ people long, all waiting to inhale gas and go braindead.

When I took this picture, I saw the true horror of mankind. In the woods to the right of me were several people peeing, and in every other direction were people either already doing nitrous, already retarded from doing nitrous, or were in line, actually fighting each other to get to the nitrous faster. I watched the main person (the guy filling the balloons) yell at people who were cutting in line, pushing people, yelling to get the fuck to the back of the line, and people were pushing each other, squeezing tight to get a glimpse of the thing, trying their hardest to be next in line. I've never seen such zombie drug behavior, and it's pretty crazy. 

I walked back in awe, and we got out of there before it got any more terrifying. 

We headed to D'Andreas where we closed the experience out correctly, then headed back. It was Sunday and Dustin and Amanda had to go to work the next morning. I slept incredibly again. 

After hanging with Dustin a little the next day, I headed out around 11. I was going to Warped Tour on Wednesday (stay tuned for that post), and I was psyched to have a drive/recover day, then 2 days off. I stopped by at Keith's new bike shop, then stopped and bought Yeungling for my dad. I eventually found a Wendy's for some much needed and delicious lunch, and headed home, to another show. 

Right when I left Dustin's, I got a text from one of the 2 people I still talk to from high school, the guitarist of my freshman year nu metal band Chewtoy, Murphy. He asked me if I wanted to see Weezer for free at the Hampton Beach Casino. 2 different people had bailed on him and he just wanted someone to go with. I told him that I was 4 hours away, and I honestly didn't think I could even make it. I was exhausted and just wanted to get home, but left it as this- if he could find anyone else, go with them. If not, I would step up and might just be a little late. He didn't find anyone, so I literally drove 4 hours straight, directly to Hampton Beach, and walked in and found him, with Weezer starting about 10 minutes after. 

What a weekend, and what a perfect ending to it. 

I've since thought about how my Phish shows have been for me. 

First show- straight edge, one night, calm

Second show- first Phish high experience

Third show- first time very high for them, first shakedown street experience

Fourth show- really explored shakedown street, first shrooms experience

Fifth show- Explored sulphur hole, ate at shakedown, first time even seeing nitrous

This has been a pretty incredible evolution of experiences. No, I don't plan on my 8th show being me high on acid and nitrous and following Phish on tour afterwards, but I can tell you this, I'm considering exploring more- maybe bringing a good camera and spending a day at Shakedown or seeing if I can find even weirder, darker worlds. I'm excited about seeing them again. Who knows, maybe there's even a short book in the evolution of my phish posts over the years. Time will tell. Can't wait for next year (Dear Phish, please play the 4th of july weekend in Saratoga again in 2014 and every year after that).